Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Why I Had To Change Gynocologysts

Well, as much as I hate to admit it, even I get embarrassed sometimes. This just happens to be one of the more mortifying experiences of my life....

I was 19, and I had this really hot gynocologist. Like, I would usually dread getting my uterus poked and prodded but I couldn't wait for this guy to check out my vag. Knowing I had an appointment that day, I decided to shave up for the occasion. So I went into my bathroom, shaved everything and picked up a towel to dry off with, put on a clean pair of panties, and headed on my way. I got to the office and Dr. McDreamy was there as usual. I'm sitting on the table waiting to be examined and lay back. I look down and he's making this weird face. Then he smiles. Ok, he likes my twat...cool, I'm thinking. Then he says "well, isn't that nice...and so...different..." I'm thinking to myself, what the fuck is this guy talking about? Then he drops the bomb. "I've never seen anyone put glitter on their vagina before...must have a special night planned." I think I turned 3 shades of red when I remembered that the towel I had used to wipe my coochie off with was covered with glitter because I had spilled my eye sparkly shit all over, and used that to clean it up with. Only me. I kind of just ignored what he said, and figured it couldn't get any worse, but then, of course, it did. He started to do the pelvic exam...lubed up his 2 fingers and stuck them up inside me, and started feeling around, and the SECOND worst thing that could happen, did. I had an orgasm. My FUCKING GYNOCOLOGIST gave me an orgasm, from a PELVIC EXAM. I started squirming around on the table, and my legs started spasming like crazy...I was so embarrassed, I wanted to die. Dr. McDreamy just kind of looked at me, and then said "Don't worry, that's perfectly normal." What the fuck????!!!! It's normal to cum from a pelvic exam? Sorry doc, but I'm gonna have to disagree on that one...it sure as hell doesn't seem normal to me! Well, needless to say, my vagina was perfectly normal, a bit too glittery and excited, but ok...and I never EVER went back to see Dr. McDreamy again. I can only imagine what he talked about at the bar that night after work. Glitter McOrgasm Puss.

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