Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Gotta Love a Russian Sloot

My first lesbian porno was for my boyfriend's website imadirtylittleslut.com (RIP). We went to all these lengths to find dumb sluts who would perform for next to nothing. We started adding all these bisexual girls to our Myspace account and found a gold mine. Girls are naturally stupid or fame whores or something...we actually got chicks to do shit for free, but that's another story. Enter Sonya, a dumb Russian sloot who said for $200 she would do basically anything we wanted. So anyways, we get her to our hotel and she instantly gets naked and starts banging herself with a cucumber. She then puts both sides of this double sided black dildo we nicknamed "Leroy" in her. Enter Barbie (aka me) who decides this video sucks and needs some schwag. I get in the shower and hand Sonya this strap on which she ends up loving and have her bang me in the ass with it. The whole situation is pretty hot, but to me this still is not exciting enough. Somewhere in between this time, I go to the bathroom, and poo (yes, Barbie's poo too), and come back out, and smother my ass on this girls mouth. Hahahahaha she was licking me front to back not even knowing I just took a crap (remember this story isn't supposed to turn you on anyways, friend.) Then I tell Sonya to lay on the bed upside down on the edge so I can fuck her throat with this awesome strap on. She does it. While I am pounding the shit out of her face with the pointy purple dildo, I say "yeah bitch, you fucking like that cock!" and spit on this bitches face. I spit in her mouth, in her eyes, I just kept spitting on her and then I slapped the shit out of her and in her little Russian accent she says "Ooooh yes do it again...." so I slap her again. This is where I decide Sonya is pretty fucking cool with me, but there's one more test she has to pass. My personal favorite fetish, the golden shower. If you enjoy a golden shower, you're my lifelong buddy. It's just pee. It's sterile, it's like hot yellow sunshine in a liquid form. I grab Sonya, grab our camera guy and haul ass into the bathroom. I tell her to sit down in the shower and I'm gonna give her a golden shower. OH SHIT was she all about this or what? Homegirl starts bathing in my piss. She starts licking my pussy while I'm peeing and it gets all up in her hair and face and mouth and she laps it up like a fucking dog. Sonya was the most wonderfully slutty chick I've ever met. I knew I must see her again.

The next time I saw Sonya was 2 months later with my boyfriend and several of our friends. Sonya had a German Shephard, and stated on her profile that she was into "K-9". So being as how we aren't in Mexico, and can't pay to see a Donkey Show, we paid Sonya $180 for a doggy show. There were about 9 of us in the room and Sonya starts stripping off her clothes. She actually gets down on the floor and starts sucking on this dog's lipstick. EW. It was like seeing a homeless person get beat up by a bunch of hoodlum youth...you wanted to stop it...you wanted to not watch...but you couldn't fucking take your eyes off it. She bent over doggy style, how appropriate, while the 9 of us sat drinking beer, smoking a blunt, and laughing. Holy SHIT...this dog was GETTIN IT...he was humping this chick like he'd never get to do it again. I started to feel slightly uncomfortable but it was so shocking, i just kept on watching. I guess the dog nutted, because she separated herself from the red rocket, got up, looked at us and in that hot accent said "Dat was pretty good right?" we all clapped, I gave her a hug, and left the house. I had bad dreams for a week, and never saw Sonya again...but shit...Russian bitches fuck there dogs, drink piss, and lick brown-eyes...they are the coolest people alive.

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